I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
