I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
ttyl tear gas
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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