I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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