Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
