Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I will pee on everything he values.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I AM VODKA MAN
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
