when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
