everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
