Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
