i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review