Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on