you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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