thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
