So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
