im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
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