Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
