i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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