Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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