That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Don't tell me you're on acid again
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize