Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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