Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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