You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
