the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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