is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
