He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
