so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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