He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
