We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
