i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
