even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
