please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
