whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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