I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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