The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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