He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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