you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
