I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
We have started to decorate penises.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
You ate ashes out of my bong
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
