Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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