I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
