She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
