i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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