batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
