The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
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