Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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