Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
