He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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