I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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