you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Are we still banned from the library?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Randomize
