But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
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