I think im going to throw up on grandma
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
