wanna go halves on a baby?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
