I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
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