Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
