And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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