I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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