Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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