now i know why i became what i already was.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
