You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
