I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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