Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
