All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
