And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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