I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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